stories Belly of the Beast About a month ago, my seven-year-old son jumped into the ocean for the first time. Jumped in, not waded in. Not got up to his waist and then ran back squealing away from the broken waves, but leapt in. He gathered up his courage, breathed deeply, and then
opinion Bye Week You know what?! I've got too much going on to write a full post this week. It's late Wednesday night and nobody's paying me anyway. I do have a lovely story for next week, but it's not fully baked yet, so I
veterinary medicine Game Time I’m spending this Fall coaching boys soccer this Fall, and it's complete chaos. Second grade boys are insane. They throw dirt clods at and tackle each other, ask me if I want to trade Pokemon cards with them during scrimmages. They do an amazing number of things
veterinary medicine An Illustrated Guide to Client Communication The vast majority of the time it takes to become a veterinarian is spent studying the complex interactions between anatomy, physiology, genetics and the environment as they relate to animal health. We're a science-based profession, but we're mid-nerd spectrum: we want pretty hard science
cartoon New Yorker Rejects #6 The Death of Ivan Ilyich is a story about a guy who falls off his chair and dies. But he doesn't die right away, it actually takes him several months. There's some vague internal injury that slowly gets worse and worse. He's in agony
creativity Same as it Ever Was A couple of months after starting vet school, one of my classmates spam-emailed the whole student body. There was no message, just a Photoshopped image of me posing as a velociraptor, next to the bold title “Jurassic Park Live, this Friday!”. This was a pretty funny joke email, something
glossobuccosis Let Freedom Ring Fourth of July is the worst day of the year, typically, to be on the floor of a veterinary clinic. In the morning things aren't too bad, but it's the equivalent of standing on the shore as a massive wave of crap lurches up. Soon enough,
stories The Auklet Off the coast of San Francisco there's a small, rocky island with a very old lighthouse. Years ago, I spent some time there as a field intern. It's only accessible via a ride on both inflatable skiff (through shark-infested waters), then a vertical lift on
veterinary medicine Actually Using AI in Vet Med Nobody invited me to any of the recent summits, roundtables, or other prestigious get togethers aimed at figuring how to use artificial intelligence in veterinary practice. That being said, I've experienced firsthand what happens when organized medicine tries to committee it's way through a disruptive new
stories The Goose Limericks are traditional drinking songs from England (they're not actually Irish!). In their purest form, they should be obscene. Even better if they violate taboos. I didn't know any of that when I wrote this, I just thought it worked well for this story. And while
cartoon New Yorker Rejects #5 It's been yet another month of rejected cartoons. But don't pity me, dear Sis or Brosquatch. I'm having fun and wasting time and effort on a nonlucrative art form that very few appreciate and even fewer understand. I count myself among the latter, although
veterinary medicine Thrown Over the Fence It's so annoying to not be able to figure something out. My job as a veterinarian is to answer questions correctly. In school, we're drilled over and over again with multiple choice questions. There's always a right answer. But in reality, medicine isn'
stories The Cassowary Silence. I exhaled between footsteps. The leaves were wet, but even a small noise might give me away. No water bottle, no camera, no dangling binoculars to click against each other. A waterproof notepad and pencil, tucked into my back pocket, were the only items on hand. I really did
Ruining the Campfire I've seen it a lot. Dusk falls, and a group of good friends gathers around the campfire, catching up on life and enjoying the open air. The smoke wafts into the darkening sky, and one of the kids asks for a scary story. You, and every other human
