The Story of Louie
Once upon a time, there was a cousin.
Her name was Liz, and she was funny because she thought to "upchuck" meant to "uppercut". But she was also creative, and she dreamed of making a book to read to her children one day.
Like many people with this idea, she had NFC¹ how to go about this, so she started a journey of market research and brainstorming, discovering a rich world full of layout designers and gold foil-leafing.
What she DID know pretty well already was how to market things. The only thing she needed was an illustrator. But she didn't know any, so instead she asked her cousin Greg to draw it. He agreed, even though he wouldn't actually know what "illustrator" means until about seven years later. Let's just say he had NFC, too.
Over a nearby burrito and a man with bad jokes, Greg stared at Liz skeptically as she explained how this book would be the first in a whole series, and how she had such a good analysis on the potential for books like these, that she was sure she could sell them. He was grateful at least that he had gotten a burrito, when she dropped a bombshell on him: she was going to pay him!
That was too good to pass up, so Greg quit his day job as a veterinaria– no wait he still works as a veterinarian– anyway, he took the only parameters of the character Liz had specified: "it has to be an elephant (or a giraffe), have a two syllable name (probably Louie), and wear a red-cape (non-negotiable)", and he started draw.
At first, Louie was nothing more than primordial pachyderm ooze. Greg had NFC what he was doing, after all. But slowly the plucky little elephant took shape, and finally Liz opened the box of books she had dreamt of so long ago in front of her children while the man with bad jokes ate a whole box of donuts. She also placed in her garage several thousand copies that she preordered and now had to figure out what to do with. Greg deposited his check happily and grabbed the last donut on his way out.
But this was not the end, not nearly! For Liz was to have to remind Greg that she knew what she was doing, and convince him that yes, she was ready to work on the second Louie book! This was so shocking to Greg that he nearly spit out the burrito he was eating that day (but would never waste burrito).
And so, after many donuts, and burritos, and years of working together, these two cousins have continued to build their empire of books, literally made out of the boxes that now have to be shipped to a warehouse in LA because they're too big even for a seven car garage! They've cracked the top 3,000 Amazon bestseller list, been sent fantastically bizarre emails from a plush toy manufacturer in China, and even been featured on ¡Ohpra!, the knockoff celebrity interview show airing on Telemundo².
The end (of this post).
- No Freakin' Clue
- Not factually accurate.
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