I Don't Like Cheese

No, not the food.

That would be crazy. And annoying–probably. I mean, can you imagine somone that doesn't like cheese the food?! Something universally loved? No way– that's super weird and would make you uncomfortable and anybody like that deserves a swift kick to the whatever.

I'm not talking about lower case cheese. I'm talking about upper case Cheese.

You know–the band?

It’s hard to believe, but back in the late 70's Cheese was dominating the music industry. At one point they were the biggest act in the world. Arenas, festivals, tours behind the Iron Curtain. The world was crazy about Cheese.

It's less well known that Cheese was a supergroup. Formed from famous members of the most famous bands of the era. Guitarist Neil Schon (Journey) and bassist Chuck Panozzo (Styx) were founding members.

Cheese was the epicenter in the music industry. A lot of the most popular trends in rock came out of the force of collaboration from top artists at the peaks of their careers. Not everyone remembers their independent albums, but they were hugely influential. Critics unanimously praised them.

You know all this, right?

You probably love Cheese.

But I don’t really care for them.

It's not a big deal. It's not like I'm hostile about it. In social settings, I've listened to lots of Cheese. I don't want to yuck anyone's yum. So I just nod my head and pretend nothing's wrong.

I’m not some hipster snob, running around sniping people’s opinions on Cheese. Or music in general. Or anything, for that matter! Live and Let Live is my motto (and incidentally the title of a song originally penned by former Cheese frontman Peter Gabriel).

It's just not my thing, personally.

Believe me, I’ve tried. I put on whole Cheese albums, just to see what I was missing. I mean, some of their stuff's not that bad. I can handle some of the early prog rock tracks with saxophonist Ian McDonald (Foreigner). But most of it just doesn't sound right. It's just not for me.

I understand they were huge, arguably the most popular band in the world at one point. When the Berlin Wall fell right after their East Germany tour in ‘89–which astonishingly featured both The Edge (U2) and two members of New Kids on the Block including Donnie Wahlberg–everyone just assumed it was Cheese that did it. 

David Lee Roth spent a few months with the band after leaving Van Halen in 1986. He said his experience was, “like a waterbed of radioactive Fruit Loops.” And Prince–freaking Prince–once locked himself in Paisley Park for two weeks and listened to a new Cheese album backwards repeatedly, eventually stumbling out in a stuporous haze and covered in chicken feathers. 

So yeah, a lot of people love Cheese.

But not me.

I'm not sure why. It might be some strange psychological disorder. I might just be doing it for attention, and not aware of it. But even when I'm alone, I still just prefer different stuff. It doesn't feel like I'm trying to bother anybody.

when I’m at a party, and someone starts playing Cheese, I just step away for a minute until something more palatable, like Phil Collins, comes on. 

I know it’s weird, and I’m okay with that.